Children Come With Too Many Toys – January 12, 2019

Captain’s Log. January 12, 2019, 12:36 PM. Family Domicile. Twelfth entry.

It isn’t until taking on the task of cleaning the Domicile that I begin to come to the realization that my children have fully commandeered my living quarters. No matter what direction I look, I am met with toys, stuffed animals, coloring books, and numerous forms of childhood entertainment. It never ends.

Further complicating matters is the different stages of development that my two children are currently in. Lady Fancy Pants is currently wrapped up with dolls and coloring, and Squire Giggles McCracken, at his young age, likes anything with lights and sounds. Lady Fancy Pants has taken full dominion of the living room, where markers go to die slow and painful deaths without their caps. She also has a tendency to leave any and all small accessories to her toys on the ground, which promptly get destroyed by our canine Louie. She then proceeds to get upset about it.

Child, if you don’t want the canine to destroy your things, then simply PUT THEM AWAY.

While the living room is hers, the family room belongs to the Young Squire. Walkers, bouncers, toys for him to chase, things to entertain and teach him – they all migrate, almost under their own volition, into the busiest room of the house. Nothing says a relaxing evening in like “the wheels on the bus go round and round.”

More importantly, and of equal frustration, is the knowledge that there is no solution. There is no answer. There is no hope for organization. Hours can be spent tucking as many of these objects away as possible, only for the entire thing to be undone in a matter of minutes. I have engaged in many battles in my life, but none so futile.

Regardless, I shall continue in my quest, with the outcome already predetermined.

Signing off for now,

Captain Duck N. Tickles